Where I am...

I started this adoption journey almost four years ago. There have been many unexpected twists and turns but now I am on the road to adopting a baby girl from Russia. Although not her real name we will call her...Hope. For it symbolizes what she is. A miracle, sometimes a dream, always longed and prayed for. With all current paperwork completed all that stands in my way is finances. I invite you to follow my journey as my faith is tested, my belief grows deeper, and soon my Hope will be placed in my arms after so long living in my heart...May you be inspired, encouraged, humored, provoked to think, and always drawn closer to God.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Restart

         Quick update. I am really tired and to be honest need to get to bed so I can get up super early and go to work again  in the morning. Maybe its my need to "write it out" or maybe I just want to record this feeling of discouragement and despair for myself.....for anyone else who is doing this. I want to remember so that when God comes through it will be even more amazing. So that it is documented and there will be no doubt that when the door opens it was God who did it. I know this will be true because there is no human way out of where I am tonight...
          It is coming to the time that my Immigration clearance, I-171H is needing to be renewed. In order to do this I need to submit a Home Study that is less then 6months old. Earlier this year my Homes Study Agency closed. Because of this I am unable to renew my Home Study with them. This means that I need to find a new agency and see if they will accept my current HS or if I have to start all over again. A few thousand dollar process. So, long story short. Cant renew I-171H without  freshly renewed HS (although its not expired it is more then 6 months old). In order to renew my HS I need to find a new agency and pray they will work with what I have...
        To be honest, I am tired and feeling discouraged tonight. I feel like honesty is the only way to go. Tonight I need to allow myself to be tired. I have worked so many hours, days, months on these documents. To see them fall apart because of some red tape makes me feel ill.
       I will not quit. But tonight? I am feeling weak and small. God's plan is veiled and confusing. I pray for strength and clarity. Tomorrow I will go down the list I just made of agencies and see what they say...(sigh). Holding onto the certainty of my Hope. She is real. She will come. She is worth all of this without a doubt... Even if I have to start completely over...wait a minute, that's what I am doing :) its OK....just need to be tired tonight and pray for courage.

1 comment:

  1. Hi! Found you through NiHoaYall and the Sunday Snapshot :) We adopted a little girl with DS from Ukraine and had lots of speed bumps and issues too. One day you will be holding her and all of this will be a faint memory. And I bet you would be willing to do it ALL over again if it meant having her in the end. I know I can honestly say that :) Good luck with everything!

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