Playing Catch Up- Part Two

The First Country Change-

Well, as you can guess from the title of this section, the plot ever thickens! Due to the long wait, and probable lack of a reopening date for the Kyrgyzstan program, I switched to Kazakhstan. I know…another of the “-stans.” Before this I had no idea there were so many of them! I have become very good at explaining where each of the “-stans” is on a map when people say “Uh, where did you say you were adopting from?”

This country offered a more stable program (at the time), shorter wait times, younger babies, etc. Plus, I could not stand to keep calling my agency and be told “Call back in three months and hopefully we will have some news.”

Kazakhstan- My Second Country

Journal Entry Dated  December 31, 2009-

It is new years eve... the very last day of 2009. A year that has not been the easiset honetly. Today was a wonderful day! A milestone day! A day I have been looking forward to sicne i began my journey to my baby girl. i got my FINALIZED home study in the mail today!!!

It represents the completion of stage one. No more home study stuff to do. It is done and I now have the coveted three original copies in my hands. One for USCIS, one for AO dossier, and one for my files. 

There is nothing more I can do tonight but I am anxious to send off my I600A form on Monday morning. The completed application has been done for weeks just waiting for the home study copy. What a wonderful way to end the year, hopeful and expectant of what lies ahead. Trusting God and feeling so happy! I wish the post office was open right now!

Slow Progress-

                2010 started out with a flurry of papers, stamps, envelopes, FEDEX labels, and tracking numbers. I remember feeling so close.

Journal Entry Dated January 4th, 2010-

It was pouring down rain as I dashed into the post office to send my official application to AO! I am so excited! they should get it in two days then hopefully I will get my dossier paperwork soon so I can get started!

I also FEDEX'd my I600A form to USCIS with the fee for the fingerprints and the original copy of my home study! I will wait now for the authorization and appointment time to get fingerprinted hopefully in Yakima then on to theI171H = final US approval!! So amazing to start this New Year with so much happening.

I am getting the itch to sew for my precious baby girl.I could not sleep last night and got up to browse the internet for patterns for crib sets.I found a few and am excited to start working on them, to make her snugglies, and a special blanket from her mommy = ME! It has to be the right fabric. Simple, clean, feminine, something that says "Hope" as soon as I see it. I may get the sewing machine out right now to make me feel better!

                On the 15^th of January I received the actual dossier in my mailbox. The Dossier is basically a huge pile of papers that stand between you and your child. With this in mind I attacked it with the ferocity of a starving person who was just offered their first meal. Every single one of those papers represented one paper closer to her. Every signature, every phone call, every envelope, every message left. I really have not had a hard time with the paperwork. To be honest, I was expecting some hideously difficult tasks. It was deceiving however, because even the smallest of tasks seemed to bring with it many many obstacles. For example, I need six original copies of my birth certificate. No biggy right? Wrong! It took 5 trips to the office to get it right. First the wrong birthplace, then the wrong number, then they weren’t done yet….you get the idea. But nothing dampened my spirits.

                Despite the obstacles I felt ok. I expected ups and downs as I had been following others on their journeys none of which were easy. The paperwork turned out to be the least of my worries.

Part of my Dossier

How Much Did You Say??

                From the very beginning I knew how expensive adoption can be. It was, after all, a very pertinent column on my adoption agency comparison chart! Like many things on this crooked road, I will have to take a separate entry to discuss the topic of expense in its rightful detail. For this skeletal outline however it plays a huge part. Cost. Like an inept weatherman’s forecast of rain on an otherwise sunny day, it loomed in the background, threatening but rarely plausible. Well, let’s just say the clouds have broken and the rain is pouring down on my picnic…

                The cost of adoption is undeniably ridiculous. No matter how you feel about becoming a parent to an unknown child, most people agree it shouldn’t cost an exorbitant amount. Like say, maybe the price of a small house…or a REALLY nice car…no. that should not be true. Some people have even said it is immoral, unethical, and that I should stay away and refuse to be part of “the money making game.” I could easily skip over this part of this story; focus on the pretty parts, the easy parts. But I cant. I want the reality to be clear. The faith journey, the questions unanswered, would not be nearly as meaningful without the tough stuff.  

When God brings this about, when He and He alone connects all the dots, provides and all the papers are signed, all the passports have been stamped, all the bags have been unpacked, and SHE is laying in my arms….it will mean so much more if you know the truth. The depth to which God had to go. The darkness He walked into and brought light.

I have been blessed with a great job as an ICU nurse. I work full time there and have tutored off and on for the nursing program at a local college as well.  In January 2010 I began the process of applying for a third job as a nurse. I was working nights, 12hr shifts, which gave me a few days off in between where I planned to add this other job. Crazy? Possibly, but I am in love with a baby I have not yet met…nothing is too hard.

To make a very long story shorter, my prayers were answered and I was hired as a charge nurse at a local facility. So, bring on the endless hours of work! It is all worth it. At this point, the finances continue to be a road block…or maybe a diversion….or maybe…not sure. But cost is the only things left to do really. Raise the remainder of what I need…I will write more about that later.

In May, 2010 I began applying for countless adoption grants. Unfortunately due to the financial situation in the country and the lack of funding, the majority are no longer able to give.

The Second Country Change-

                In middle of May 2010 I receive a call that informs me that Kazakhstan is closing their international adoption program for an undetermined amount of time. This will take place in a matter of days and if I want in I have to have all papers and all funds processed by basically the next day. It turns out that this action was a result of the fallout over the woman who sent back her Russian son unaccompanied to Russia.

                Obviously, despite my most gallant efforts in the intervening hours, there was no way for me to actually have all my completed dossier translated into Russian, and arrive within a day…I was devastated. It had seemed to simple. Make a plan, work really hard, believe, and eventually it will come to you…not to be so yet anyway. This process has not functioned like anything else I have ever known.

                On May 20^th 2010 I was “forced” to changed to Russia. It took me a couple of days to even dig down and find enough energy and effort to start again. I mean really start ALLLL over again. My carefully prepared dossier proudly displayed KAZAKHSTAN all over every page as did my home study documents. Money lost, courage low, I started again from the beginning. One paper at a time. I encouraged myself my saying that at least it would go faster this time cause I had done it once before!

Russia- My Third and Current Country

Playing Catch Up- Part One

In the interest of catching up on the past three years of…well let’s just say “stuff,” I think I will take a couple entries and bring you up to speed as it were.  Hmmm….hopefully you can stay with me as I try to weave the past months and days into a recognizable picture.

First, the facts. It was September 17^th, 2008 when I first spoke with what would become my adoption agency. For the many months and years before that I had thought about adoption. About becoming a mommy. I could write many many lines about the process of processing the fact that I am single. That at this point in my life if I want my greatest wish I might have to go it alone, so to speak. Perhaps I will go into that more in the future as it is a journey all its own. But for today, let’s focus on the skeletal outlines of what has brought me here. As we walk together I will endeavor to add muscle, tissue and the finer details which will hopefully create a complete portrait. 

Choosing an Adoption Agency-

Choosing an adoption agency is somewhat like…well, maybe like choosing an OB doctor. It’s a big deal! That person(s) will be the one to guide you through the pregnancy, paper or otherwise. They will answer your burning questions like “Is this a normal feeling?” and “What if this happens?” “Will it be a boy or girl?” They will be the one to hand you your child. In so many real and intangible ways they are responsible for the magical moment of meeting your baby for the first time. Ok, no pressure to make that decision! Consequently, being the rationale, organized, slightly neurotic person that I am, I spent a number of months searching the internet, requesting information packets, pouring over program  specifics, making calls to references, and creating comparison charts. At some point, after prayer and much advice I chose to go with Adoption Options based out of California. It came down to responsiveness of the staff, the numerous references I spoke to and the ease of the process.

Choosing a Country- (the first time)

The next few months were spent gathering information on international adoption. Some may ask why I am going the international route. Again, a long story I promise to fill you in on.  Suffice it to say that after much research I decided to go with the country of Kyrgyzstan.

Kyrgyzstan

 If you have never be privy to the details of an adoption journey you will be surprised to learn that it is a bit more difficult than simply calling up and asking for say…a newborn baby girl, blonde hair, blue eyes, healthy and oh….can I pick her up next weekend please? I joke slightly but honestly, this blog is called The Crooked Road for a reason. Oh the things I have learned. 

I now know all the places in my town where I can get a document notarized, and how much each costs. I know how long it will take me to get fingerprinted at the county jail and just how rough my hands must be in order to get good prints. I have been interviewed by psychiatrist (requirement) and have been deemed “sound and healthy.”I have answered embarrassing questions from ignorant people about my sexuality (as if it is unheard of for a straight young woman to want to adopt), my religious beliefs and “how hard it will be to do it alone.” I have the back line number to the FBI agent who can secretly process fingerprints in weeks instead of the allotted months. I have a filing system that would rival the most organized office manager. I am on a first name basis with the ladies at my state capitol apostilling office as my paperwork was lost and I called them hmm…maybe forty times a day till it was found!

Finding a country that would adopt to singles is harder then you might think. The vast, ever-changing beast that is international adoption is always morphing. For someone who does not particularly like change this present a growth opportunity. OK, frankly, it’s a real pain in the neck! No complaints.  I wholeheartedly signed up for it and nothing is too much, too hard, too long for my baby girl. So, that is one of the reasons why I chose Kyrgyzstan. 

The Process-

The next year or so was spent checking back with my agent asking if the country was opening, if they were accepting applications, asking questions, doing research. It was a time of optimism and hope. September 11^th 2009, my Marmie and I got fingerprinted for the first time, requested police clearance letters, and got passport pictures taken for our passport renewal. it was exhilarating to actually be doing something tangible. To actually answer “I’m adopting” when asked for the purpose of these clearances.

October 8^th, 2009 we received our current passports in those blue and red FEDEX envelopes! I could hardly wait to hand them over and get that stamp. So close I felt I was! Excitement and belief and hope burned like a bonfire in my soul.

My Journal Entry Dated October 19^th, 2009-

Wow, I am so excited. I just went over all the paperwork for my home study and slipped that big stack of papers into the big orange envelope. What a satisfying feeling it was! I am so proud of it. I can only imagine what I will feel like when my dossier is done…I will send it off today. Even though I have worked the past four nights and have been awake along time. I just can’t resist going down and mailing it right now. Sleep can wait…I just got an email that we should receive our FBI clearance back this week.  We are almost done with the first big step!

The latest news is that Kyrgyzstan is moving forward and will hopefully be open by the end of the year. I am so excited and anxious. Next step is the actual home study interviews. Ok, I am heading to the post office now!

The Home Study-

Journal Entry Dated November 11th, 2009-

“It’s Home Study Day! Wow, It feels almost surreal that it is actually here. I have read and read about it and planned for months. E** S**** of Heritage Adoption in Portland OR came and spent about 1 ½ hrs interviewing us and then touring our home. Now we have three weeks and the final document will be done!!!!”

I remember feeling so excited, so scared, so wanting everything to be perfect. I knew there was nothing to worry about. It is a formality in most cases. A safe guard to ensure you don’t live in a hovel, don’t eat off the floor, or under a tin roof. However, it felt invasive, surreal somehow to have to have someone come in and inspect your home, interview you and your family to see if you are fit to become a parent. On a humorous note I found myself wondering why biological parent aren’t subjected to such in depth searching before becoming pregnant. Hmm….we would surely have a lot less unwanted babies. But I digress.