Black and White Wednesday

Status Update

 

My expired documents arrived today. Back from my agency instead of going through the shredder. It would feel wrong to dispose of them, you know? After working so hard they almost feel like someone I know…I figure it couldn’t hurt to have them as a reference for the next set I will do in the spring.

     I must admit they look quite beautiful! Golden-sealed, official and thickly stacked. It’s taken me a few weeks to get used to the idea that I will need to redo them. So today I just want to celebrate all the work that has gone into this stack of documents and those who have had similar things happen to them. I know I am not the only one.

     Because my Home Study agency closed I had to find a new one. After much research and calling I was actually able to make contact with and meet with a new social worker. The interview portion was completed on August 18^th and updated Home Study, extension request and associated documents were one-day mailed to the USCIS for extending my immigration clearances. (Big sigh of relief).

     I called USCIS today. My documents arrival is pending as they receive “10,000 documents a day and mine is probably in there.” I hope and pray so…Will wait a few days and call again. 

In honor of dossier’s everywhere….whether they are a file on your computer waiting to be opened, a half finished stack on your dining room table, or a perfectly sealed pile like these, let me tell you a little more about what a dossier is and how it works. (For those of you who don’t already know it by heart that is)

Each and every country is different. However, the basic premise is that for international adoption a person must be cleared first by the state they live in. This is accomplished by filing financial, personal, and professional documentation with a home study agency. A social worker comes to your house. They make sure you are not an axe murderer, don’t live in a dump, and can support and love a child. You are questioned about almost everything. Your spirituality, your discipline plans, your plan for incorporating cultural heritage, etc. You also have to complete a child abuse clearance, and state and local police fingerprinting and background checks. All of this material is complied into a Home Study and associated documents.

After state clearances, you must file for and complete United States clearances with both immigration and the FBI. Both involve their own set of fingerprints one electronic and one on cards. Fees are sent to the USCIS (immigration) and time is spent in the processing.

Misc. documentation is also a part of the dossier such a job verifications, physician’s letter, health screens, home owner documentations, etc. A complete psychiatric assessment and profile must be filled out by an independent agency also. This involves a lengthy questionnaire and phone interview. You must also take pictures of every room in your house and compile a portfolio to represent your life.

Each single paper must be notarized independently. This means that you must either pay an average of $5 per paper or find someone who will do it for free. I have been blessed to find a free notary. When all of this has been completed you must send the dossier to your state capital to get apostilled. This is basically where the authenticity of each and every notary seal is verified.

A lot of this depends on the country you are adopting from. Some require more some require less. Timing is everything. Each and every one of these documents is “good” for a different amount of time. Some three months, some six months, some a year, etc. Time is also a factor in the mailing and processing of each of these clearances. For example, one of my FBI clearances took as long as three months to complete and they only last three months to begin with. 

As you can tell being organized is a must but there are a lot of factors involved.  Most of which are out of my control. There are times when it all lines up and clicks together in harmony….at least I think so because people actually do complete this process!  So far, it hasn’t for me. But I will not rest until it does. No matter the hours, the paper cuts, the tears, the money, the phone calls, the stamps, the ink stains on my fingers, the miles of driving, the personal questions, and the stranger’s visits in my home…..nothing can detour me from my daughter.

Am I bitter that parents who become so by adoption are required to go through such hoops, such personal inquisitions when biological parents are not? No. Not bitter at all. Just seems a little unfair sometimes. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for biological parents to have to go through such strenuous screening before their “abilities” are turned on and workable!  (Just kidding.) At any rate, it is what it is. I have chosen this path to motherhood with my eyes wide open. I have learned, been shaped, tested and inspired. I take each new step with faith that at the end of this crooked road I will meet my baby girl. And none of this will even be a memory… Until then, my baby girl I love you and am waiting…

Love,

 Mommy

Scripture and a Snaphot

“Teach me your ways, Oh Lord, Lead me in a straight path.” Psalms 27:11

(For more inspiring photos and Verses, check out the Scripture and a Snapshot button on the right of the screen)

Sunday Snapshot

JeJe (My Niece)

         To capture the essence of “now.” That is the goal of Snapshot Sundays! I love that concept. NOW is all we have really. It may sound trite, cliched, but it is so true. My work as an Intensive Care Nurse has made me ever so much more aware that this moment is life. It is what we have been waiting for, saving for, hoping for. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. I can’t count the times when I have spent my night working feverishly over the bed of someone who simply left that morning to go to the store and find themselves that evening unconscious, on life-support. Dependent on God…on me, for their next breath, their next heart beat.

         All this reminds me to take this moment and grasp it, live, it, appreciate it. My family and I went to the pool recently. This picture is of my niece JeJe enjoying the sun, the cool water. Splashing and living each moment. I am so happy to be with them.

         I long for the day that I can take my babies to the pool. To worry about sunscreen, and hydration, and shade. But I was reminded that that day will come and I don’t want to waste these days in the waiting. 

       So, I thank God for these mommies-less moments. Because they too are a gift….

The Many Faces of Sugar Pea

    Sugar Pea is almost three years old and every inch of her is sweet. Funny, determined, shy, confident. She is a pink-loving, purse-holding, I-don't-mind-if-I-get-dirty kinda girl. 

      Every moment I spend with her reveals a little more of the miracle she is, the person she will become. Unfolding like a rare blossom she awakens each day a little more amazing. I am so blessed to be her auntie. I see my sister, my mother...myself in her. 

      Her enormous blue eyes framed with a covetous number of dark lashes makes me wonder if anything could be more perfect. She has more expressions that any child I have ever seen. Here are just a few. 

                 Enjoy!

 
I love you baby girl!

Black and White Wednesday

Planted with Love!

My Exceptionally Adorable Niece JeJe

The curiosity of a child knows no bounds....

History

              History. Where we have been. What we have done. What has made us who we are...I’ve been thinking a lot about history lately. My history. Marmie and I have reorganizing storage areas and sifting through our history. Old toys, baby clothes, school projects, and the like. Being an avid reader my whole life there are plenty of book boxes to go through as well. Seeing some of those old covers was like seeing an old friend again. Made my heart smile remembering how I would read and reread these old friends.

             It has always been hard for me to get rid of things. It’s not like I’m a packrat, but inanimate objects seem to hold great significance even when they are rusted, or have curling pages and cobwebs. My Marmie is the perfect balance in that she values things but knows where to draw the line to keep from retaining the unnecessary. We make such a great team.

            It’s hard to describe how seeing something I once played with, wore, or cherished can in an instant bring back all the happiness, the peace, the contentment of childhood. Keeping some of these things makes me feel like the past stays with me. Like it carries on. It’s beautiful to see my sister giving her old baby dolls to Sugar Pea to play with. She is so careful and says “Mommy’s special doll.” I pack some of these things away in hopes that one day I too can lay them in the outstretched hands of my Hope. To carry on the memories and to make new ones.

          I know that it’s really not about the things themselves. It’s the people, the ones we cherish that count, that make those memories come to life. If I were to lose all of the “things” I would still be rich. Rich with the love and a wonderful mother and amazing friends.

            The picture of the wooden rocking chair was a gift of love from a dear dear friend of mine. She started out as a co-worker, a mentor. She quickly became one of my dearest friends and a true part of my family. She has stayed with me through the thinnest of times, the darkest of times. An advocate for me, for my professional and personal path. She and her husband generously gave me the rocking chair that she herself rocked her two children to sleep in years ago.

           It now sits proudly beside Hope’s crib. I prefer old rocking chairs. So much more personality. The nights she stayed up with her sick babies, the naps, the book readings. It has a history. A heart. I am honored and thankful to have it in my own baby’s room. To add to its history and story…I pray for many many hours of love, of closeness in its arms. Thanks dear friend for your sweetness and your commitment to my becoming a mommy.

Sunday Snapshot. (A Little Late :-)

            The Sunday Snapshot is all about capturing what is going on here and now. This is is what I need to do, no matter what. Despite the twists and turns, the blind corners, I just have to make a decision to Believe. When I don't understand, when I need to ask Why.

At the end of it all I have a choice, will I doubt or will I...

Believe

(check out more of Sunday Snapshot by clicking on the button to your right)

To Everything There Is A Season...

     


           Its funny about winding roads, you are often so focused on the turn right in front of you that you forget the destination. That's where I have been the past few days. Even though my daughter is my only, ever-present desire, I got a little lost on the speed bumps called "paperwork." (Sigh). Well, today is a new day. Sometimes you have to go forward not knowing what will be around the next turn. What if more speed bumps await me? What if my papers get lost again, or expires randomly, or...or? Well, It could happen but you know what? Its gonna be OK. God has taken me this far and He won't drop me now.
        It was by some amazing answer to prayer that I was able to find a new Home Study Agency this week. They were already sending someone to my area for a post-adoption visit just when I needed it, so they were able to come and see me and do my Home Study update the very next day. So there is a remote chance I can get the updates I need without having to spend a few more $$$$. How amazing is that?
        Its funny. Having someone come into your home to see where and how you live feels a little weird. Of course your house is clean and neat and all the paperwork is sitting ready on the dining room table. I had a fleeting thought that I should have baked chocolate ship cookies so the house would smell warm and delicious....But I had to rush home from work to meet him then rush back...so no cookie smell for me :-)
       I am humbled and thankful. Again, I am reminded that there is a plan, that this will all be worth it. It's human to get discouraged, to lose sight of your goal, no matter how worthy. But, I don't ever want to stop there. This week I have been blessed by corresponding with some wonderful women who have been on and finished this journey. Ladies who's blogs I have read for years. It made my heart feel warm and so thankful that they would take the time to encourage and support me. The adoption community is beautiful, diverse and unique. I am humbled and honored to be apart of it. I am looking forward to what lies ahead no matter what it is...