Restart

         Quick update. I am really tired and to be honest need to get to bed so I can get up super early and go to work again  in the morning. Maybe its my need to "write it out" or maybe I just want to record this feeling of discouragement and despair for myself.....for anyone else who is doing this. I want to remember so that when God comes through it will be even more amazing. So that it is documented and there will be no doubt that when the door opens it was God who did it. I know this will be true because there is no human way out of where I am tonight...
          It is coming to the time that my Immigration clearance, I-171H is needing to be renewed. In order to do this I need to submit a Home Study that is less then 6months old. Earlier this year my Homes Study Agency closed. Because of this I am unable to renew my Home Study with them. This means that I need to find a new agency and see if they will accept my current HS or if I have to start all over again. A few thousand dollar process. So, long story short. Cant renew I-171H without  freshly renewed HS (although its not expired it is more then 6 months old). In order to renew my HS I need to find a new agency and pray they will work with what I have...
        To be honest, I am tired and feeling discouraged tonight. I feel like honesty is the only way to go. Tonight I need to allow myself to be tired. I have worked so many hours, days, months on these documents. To see them fall apart because of some red tape makes me feel ill.
       I will not quit. But tonight? I am feeling weak and small. God's plan is veiled and confusing. I pray for strength and clarity. Tomorrow I will go down the list I just made of agencies and see what they say...(sigh). Holding onto the certainty of my Hope. She is real. She will come. She is worth all of this without a doubt... Even if I have to start completely over...wait a minute, that's what I am doing :) its OK....just need to be tired tonight and pray for courage.