Playing Catch Up- Part Three

Been a long day at work, gonna head to bed now but thought I would post this really quick! have a good night everyone. thanks for visiting!

Where I am Right Now-

A beautiful mess. That’s what I am in. Sometimes more mess than beautiful….but that’s ok.  Basically, I have completed all possible paperwork. As I sit here I find myself searching for words to explain where I am. Honesty. That’s what is required here. I state the following as a matter of fact. Not to appeal for sympathy, or to incur judgment, only to name and define the place I am standing. If I have learned one thing over the past few years it’s that you cannot move forward if you don’t acknowledge where you are standing. Whether or not you like the territory beneath your feet, it’s where you are…

Money, Moolah, Dinero…whatever you call it, it is necessary for life. As much as I dislike it, and am often appalled by the uses of it, modern life is not possible without it. I think when I started out I was focused so much on the baby. On the fruition of my dream, of the life that would come. I thought about the details, the papers, the signatures, the stamps, the questions. But, I can honestly say I never ever thought that it would be halted by money. It seems unfair, cruel, twisted doesn’t it? for something to good, so right, so pure, to be slowed by cold, hard, cash. 

There are babies, children, waiting. Growing older day by day. Each breath taken without the stability of a forever home. Each night they go to sleep without the hugs and kisses of mommy’s and daddy’s. Cries go without quick responses leaving them to wonder about the safety of the world they were brought into. I know the people who care for them do their best and I am eternally grateful. But they are not their mommy’s. The red tape of finances stands like a great stone wall between me and my children.

At times overwhelmed, at times angry, at times at peace I stand and wait. All I can do is work hard. As much as I can, do everything I can that is within my power…and have faith that God will show me what to do…where to go…how to proceed…So, we have make-shiftily arrived at the star on the map where I now stand.  Thanks for reading…thanks for caring. I know that each of your lives holds many cares and worries. If you have a moment, I ask for even a softly breathed prayer on my behalf…