In the interest of catching up on the past three years of…well let’s just say “stuff,” I think I will take a couple entries and bring you up to speed as it were. Hmmm….hopefully you can stay with me as I try to weave the past months and days into a recognizable picture.
First, the facts. It was September 17th, 2008 when I first spoke with what would become my adoption agency. For the many months and years before that I had thought about adoption. About becoming a mommy. I could write many many lines about the process of processing the fact that I am single. That at this point in my life if I want my greatest wish I might have to go it alone, so to speak. Perhaps I will go into that more in the future as it is a journey all its own. But for today, let’s focus on the skeletal outlines of what has brought me here. As we walk together I will endeavor to add muscle, tissue and the finer details which will hopefully create a complete portrait.
Choosing an Adoption Agency-
Choosing an adoption agency is somewhat like…well, maybe like choosing an OB doctor. It’s a big deal! That person(s) will be the one to guide you through the pregnancy, paper or otherwise. They will answer your burning questions like “Is this a normal feeling?” and “What if this happens?” “Will it be a boy or girl?” They will be the one to hand you your child. In so many real and intangible ways they are responsible for the magical moment of meeting your baby for the first time. Ok, no pressure to make that decision! Consequently, being the rationale, organized, slightly neurotic person that I am, I spent a number of months searching the internet, requesting information packets, pouring over program specifics, making calls to references, and creating comparison charts. At some point, after prayer and much advice I chose to go with Adoption Options based out of California. It came down to responsiveness of the staff, the numerous references I spoke to and the ease of the process.
Choosing a Country- (the first time)
The next few months were spent gathering information on international adoption. Some may ask why I am going the international route. Again, a long story I promise to fill you in on. Suffice it to say that after much research I decided to go with the country of Kyrgyzstan.
 |
| Kyrgyzstan |
If you have never be privy to the details of an adoption journey you will be surprised to learn that it is a bit more difficult than simply calling up and asking for say…a newborn baby girl, blonde hair, blue eyes, healthy and oh….can I pick her up next weekend please? I joke slightly but honestly, this blog is called The Crooked Road for a reason. Oh the things I have learned.
I now know all the places in my town where I can get a document notarized, and how much each costs. I know how long it will take me to get fingerprinted at the county jail and just how rough my hands must be in order to get good prints. I have been interviewed by psychiatrist (requirement) and have been deemed “sound and healthy.”I have answered embarrassing questions from ignorant people about my sexuality (as if it is unheard of for a straight young woman to want to adopt), my religious beliefs and “how hard it will be to do it alone.” I have the back line number to the FBI agent who can secretly process fingerprints in weeks instead of the allotted months. I have a filing system that would rival the most organized office manager. I am on a first name basis with the ladies at my state capitol apostilling office as my paperwork was lost and I called them hmm…maybe forty times a day till it was found!
Finding a country that would adopt to singles is harder then you might think. The vast, ever-changing beast that is international adoption is always morphing. For someone who does not particularly like change this present a growth opportunity. OK, frankly, it’s a real pain in the neck! No complaints. I wholeheartedly signed up for it and nothing is too much, too hard, too long for my baby girl. So, that is one of the reasons why I chose Kyrgyzstan.
The Process-
The next year or so was spent checking back with my agent asking if the country was opening, if they were accepting applications, asking questions, doing research. It was a time of optimism and hope. September 11th 2009, my Marmie and I got fingerprinted for the first time, requested police clearance letters, and got passport pictures taken for our passport renewal. it was exhilarating to actually be doing something tangible. To actually answer “I’m adopting” when asked for the purpose of these clearances.
October 8th, 2009 we received our current passports in those blue and red FEDEX envelopes! I could hardly wait to hand them over and get that stamp. So close I felt I was! Excitement and belief and hope burned like a bonfire in my soul.
My Journal Entry Dated October 19th, 2009-
Wow, I am so excited. I just went over all the paperwork for my home study and slipped that big stack of papers into the big orange envelope. What a satisfying feeling it was! I am so proud of it. I can only imagine what I will feel like when my dossier is done…I will send it off today. Even though I have worked the past four nights and have been awake along time. I just can’t resist going down and mailing it right now. Sleep can wait…I just got an email that we should receive our FBI clearance back this week. We are almost done with the first big step!
The latest news is that Kyrgyzstan is moving forward and will hopefully be open by the end of the year. I am so excited and anxious. Next step is the actual home study interviews. Ok, I am heading to the post office now!
The Home Study-
Journal Entry Dated November 11th, 2009-
“It’s Home Study Day! Wow, It feels almost surreal that it is actually here. I have read and read about it and planned for months. E** S**** of Heritage Adoption in Portland OR came and spent about 1 ½ hrs interviewing us and then touring our home. Now we have three weeks and the final document will be done!!!!”
I remember feeling so excited, so scared, so wanting everything to be perfect. I knew there was nothing to worry about. It is a formality in most cases. A safe guard to ensure you don’t live in a hovel, don’t eat off the floor, or under a tin roof. However, it felt invasive, surreal somehow to have to have someone come in and inspect your home, interview you and your family to see if you are fit to become a parent. On a humorous note I found myself wondering why biological parent aren’t subjected to such in depth searching before becoming pregnant. Hmm….we would surely have a lot less unwanted babies. But I digress.
No comments:
Post a Comment