The journey and pondering of a single girl on the road to becoming a mommy through the miracle of adoption...
Where I am...
I started this adoption journey almost four years ago. There have been many unexpected twists and turns but now I am on the road to adopting a baby girl from Russia. Although not her real name we will call her...Hope. For it symbolizes what she is. A miracle, sometimes a dream, always longed and prayed for. With all current paperwork completed all that stands in my way is finances. I invite you to follow my journey as my faith is tested, my belief grows deeper, and soon my Hope will be placed in my arms after so long living in my heart...May you be inspired, encouraged, humored, provoked to think, and always drawn closer to God.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Baseballs and Windshield Wipers
Last night a very dear dear friend of mine took us all to a local baseball game. we had never been before and it was such a treat. She treated us like queens. A true picture of small town America complete with cheering fans, the smell of hotdogs wafting through the breeze, crazy outfits, and mascots. It was perfect. Yummy french fries, people-watching, laughing till your tummy hurts, just being. No pressure. 9:00pm came before the hint of the cool July evening breeze reached us. It was late when we left for home. The scarlet sunset was barely visible over the perfectly mown baseball field. It was so fun to see Bean and Sugar Peas reaction to the evening. they loved it. I adore being part of a child's first memories of something. It amazes me. They will look back on it years later and see my face in those scenes. It humbles and honors me. Creating those are one of my life's biggest ambitions.
On our way home we stopped by Safeway to get some picnic supplies for our grand adventure today. you know, the essentials like hotdog buns, Gatorade, you know....the important stuff. Sugar Pea and I were waiting in the car. She crawled up on the front seat with me so she could "drive." Her little hands busy with all the knobs. Emergency lights flashing, wipers flying across the dry windshield. what a sight we must have been! its funny how you don't care, you know? She was playing with the radio dial turning the music up really loud and laughing her little two year old heart out! Dimples flashing, blue eyes sparkling, she was pure sugar. As I ran my fingers through her silky blond curls my heart squeezed tight in longing for my own baby girl. The smell of lavender shampoo, the softness of her cheek, the ringing of her giggles all made my heart so happy, so full I thought it would burst from the sweetness of it...
I wondered how long it would be before I could look down and see my daughters face, feel the softness of her hair between my fingers...be apart of her childhood memories. How long? These sweet moments are precious, few, rare. The stress of my job, of life often eats away at my spirit leaving me hollow and tired. Last night reminded me again of the good stuff, the beauty, the reflections of God in the face of an innocent, trusting child.
I urge you to take a moment today. To hug the ones you love, to say it. To be still and remember how blessed we are. No, we all don't have all that we long for. But we have so much. In my line of work (ICU nursing) I see so much loss. Feel so much of peoples pain. I hold the hands of people dying on a day they didn't plan to. Don't waste a moment of the life you have....Love and be loved. Smile. I know that when My dream comes true and Hope is placed in my arms I will treasure her all the more for the waiting....
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