Birthdays, Boys, Ikea, and Really Good Friends

Marmie and I just returned from a few wonderful days visiting a dear friend who lives a few hrs away from me. We spent many hours just chatting...catching up. Good friends never miss a beat. 

We went to Ikea (my first time which was AMAZING), sipped yummy hot drinks, and enjoyed the days of unexpected sunshine. She and her husband are expecting their first baby and found out on the day we got there that it is a little boy! We are so excited.

IKEA...WOW

All three of us had a pedicure to celebrate my birthday...AM and I painted out toenails BLUE for BOY!! The little lady who gave us the pedicure was from Vietnam She proclaimed that this was "The year of the dragon, Good year for having a good strong boy!" I will never forget that.

My beautiful and sweet friend AM and me

Better Late Then Never...

Valentines Day!

I know it a little late and ALREADY MARCH!!!! However, I wanted to share some pictures of our Valentines Day celebration. The angels had a sleep over which is always fabulous! We made home made sugar cookies and decorated them, we played games and generally spent quality time together. I stayed up late the night before and decorated the house to the hilt with balloons and fun stuff. It was so worth it to see there eyes widen and jaws drop when they woke up Valentines morning! They LOVE balloons! I love being an auntie! 

Bean is such a handsome little man. He is growing up so fast....

Little JeJe

Happy February!

      I cant believe its already the second month of this new year! It is going by as fast for you as it is for me? Wow! Not alot of news from this end, just working alot and working on me alot. Its a good feeling.
      I wish all of you a wonderful day and I will post more soon. I have some great pictures I want to share with you!

The Truth

       Its a new year. The first part of January is when more people make a vow. Vows to stop eating sweets, fatty foods, splurging on cloths, to find a job, to quit an addiction, the find new love, to ....in some way add to their happiness, their lives, their health. Well, this new year finds me letting something go.
       Its been coming on for awhile. Tonight I read a post from Kayce at "My Boy and His Cricket." It confirmed my heart and I knew I had to share it with you. My intent when I started this blog was to reach out and share my story. To be authenic. To show that the road to parenthood can be rough and crooked but still is a road that leads there. There has been some growing here. I have often asked myself? Do I share only happy things, all the minute details that will make people fall asleep? Do I write about my saddness that another year has come and gone? Do I act like I have high hopes, peace in the journey, and am a fountain of energy all the time? 
      Only the truth will do. So, I am starting afresh here. I will write what is really going on. If someone reads it and is blessed then I give the credit to God who is the only One that holds me to this journey. If it is only for me...so be it. I want my babies someday to look back and see an authentic journey. A scrapbook of what really happened.
      Confession. When this last Christmas came and went, the new year came and went. I have struggled. Another year. Another holiday and I'm not a mommy. Why? What else can I do? Well, I don't know those answers. What I do know is that maybe because I am weak, or low in faith, or something else I should be...I have decided not to think about this being THE YEAR. No more hopes, no more using that as an encouragement on the dark days. I cant keep saying to myself, "Well, maybe it will be this year. Maybe I will get the money faster then I thought and I can get it going by March...no...July...no...."
     I have a wonderful family. Supportive and sacrifising. I could not ask for more. I am not asking for more. I have wonderful, supportive, giving, caring friends. You know who you are friends. I thank you for giving of yourself, your time, you love, your energy, your possesions, yourself. I am so thankful for you. However, I wont have an answer when you ask me when I will get my baby. I dont know. I cant say, "Hopefully March, or maybe July" anymore. Honestly, I dont know. Thanks for caring so much to ask.
      This year I am going to just work. I am going to work on me. Work for money for her, on my health, my weight, myself. There is a small dark part of me that wonders if this will ever work. That part of me could write pages and pages of questions, and thoughts. Im too tired for that. I am here. I give it to God. I cant do it anymore.
     So, I am not letting go of a dream. Not letting go of it. But I am going to stop telling myself that it might happen this year. There is still so much more to earn. When I lay it out logically it cant happen in this year. I don't mean to be depressing I just want to record where I am. There is no way to know unless you have done it I guess. 
     So here is my plan, my vow if you will. I will finish the one licensing process. I will keep working and saving. I will try to have hope. I will probably have days where I struggle. Thats ok. I thank each of you for coming with me on this journey....

Fingerprints...Again

             Hope all of you had a wonderful holiday! Yesterday my Marmie and I made the two hour drive to get fingerprinted for USCIS (Immigration) again. Trying to keep all the clearances current can be a full time job! I will write more soon but wanted to leave a quick note!!! Thanks everyone for visiting!

Merry Christmas

 

     I hope and pray that this Holiday season finds each of you well. I am looking forward to spending Christmas with my beautiful family. 

    Even though I REALLY thought that I would be a mommy this year…by this Christmas…Well, Not yet. I think of all those who have been united with their children this year…of those of you, who like me are still waiting. Don’t lose faith. My Hope is out there. Until I can hang her picture on my Christmas tree, I will keep Hope in my heart.

Merry Christmas everyone…

Love, Sis